Or corrupt politicians, inept polygamous travel-guides, and prostitutes you have slept with. Your African characters may include naked warriors, loyal servants, diviners and seers, ancient wise men living in hermitic splendour. Maasai herdsmen in Kenya (Source: Dmitri Markine Photography, ) Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, Africa is doomed. Africa is to be pitied, worshipped or dominated. If you are a woman, treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset. If you are a man, thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests. Africa is the only continent you can love-take advantage of this. Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable, and mention near the beginning how much you love Africa, how you fell in love with the place and can’t live without her. Throughout the book, adopt a sotto voice, in conspiracy with the reader, and a sad I-expected-so-much tone. The continent is full of deserts, jungles, highlands, savannahs and many other things, but your reader doesn’t care about all that, so keep your descriptions romantic and evocative and unparticular.

Africa is big: fifty-four countries, 900 million people who are too busy starving and dying and warring and emigrating to read your book. Don’t get bogged down with precise descriptions. Or it is hot and steamy with very short people who eat primates. It is hot and dusty with rolling grasslands and huge herds of animals and tall, thin people who are starving. In your text, treat Africa as if it were one country. If you must include an African, make sure you get one in Masai or Zulu or Dogon dress. An AK-47, prominent ribs, naked breasts: use these. Never have a picture of a well-adjusted African on the cover of your book, or in it, unless that African has won the Nobel Prize. Also useful are words such as ‘ Guerrillas’, ‘ Timeless’, ‘ Primordial’ and ‘ Tribal’. Subtitles may include the words ‘ Zanzibar’, ‘ Masai’, ‘ Zulu’, ‘ Zambezi’, ‘ Congo’, ‘ Nile’, ‘ Big’, ‘ Sky’, ‘ Shadow’, ‘ Drum’, ‘ Sun’ or ‘ Bygone’. The entire article can be found on .Īlways use the word ‘ Africa’ or ‘ Darkness’ or ‘ Safari’ in your title.

This is not the Africa I know, but this is the Africa sold on Western media.

Such an interesting read, very satirical, and yes very thought-provoking.

One will be surprised to see that this is exactly the way Africa is depicted in Western televisions, magazines, news, and books. This really good article by the Kenyan writer Binyavanga Wainaina on ‘ How to Write about Africa‘ was recently shared with me. An antelope at dusk, with the African sun

How to write about africa book